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“When I was in graduate school,” says Broder, “we were taught—in what we then called ‘marriage counseling’—that it was successful when the marriage was saved, and not successful when it wasn’t.
I believe there’s no such thing as a ‘happy couple.’ There’s such things as two happy individuals. It’s kind of like a corporation.” To keep two people together unhappily, he says, is to do no service to anyone.
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It’s not a reluctance to make a commitment, but an anxiety.”Of course, as any good therapist, counselor, rabbi, or priest can attest, just because someone expresses interest in making a relationship work—by attending couples therapy, say—does not mean that it should, or even that that is what the person really wants.
Once in a while, Ziff says, she learns in private consultation with one member of a couple that the person would rather call it quits, but doesn’t really know how.
A 24-year-old in Austin, Texas, changes her Facebook status from “In a relationship” to “It’s complicated,” then comments that she plans to begin couples therapy.
Message boards abound with questions from those trying to navigate information about couples counseling.
Her last piece for NEWSWEEK examined the phenomenon of pet psychics.